The Proper Way to Eat a Cupcake

Take Note: I am not taking "credit" for the information that I am about to share with you all. Shout out to Wes at the Farmer's Market for showing me the proper way to consume a cupcake...this skill has proved invaluable.

 There are more ways than one to "skin a cat" (eat a cupcake).I
have been privy to some pretty excellent cupcake eating advice. The dilemma with a cupcake is that it's top heavy. Cupcakes are petite cakes topped with mounds of buttercream (should be anyways) and the issue is...it's really difficult to get that perfect cake to buttercream ratio when you eat it (by taking a gigantic bite)...I will now show you the proper way to eat a cupcake...

STEP 1

choose said cupcake to enjoy

 feast upon the cupcake with your eyes first (the right cupcake will appeal to your visual senses first...or should)

once you make your decision...you must disrobe your cupcake...peel it's little wrapper off very carefully...remember...it's delicate



STEP 2

  
this will sound brutal...tear the bottom portion of your cupcake off (your cupcake should be in 2 pieces at this point)

smell the freshly broken cupcake...it should smell sweet and it should be moist (dry cupcakes are sad...no one wants a sad cupcake)





STEP 3



place the bottom half of the cupcake atop the upper half

you should now be gazing at a "cupcake sandwich"

embrace your "cupcake sandwich" with both hands



STEP 4


you've worked hard for this...now raise those "cupcake sandwich" filled hands to your mouth

open your mouth and insert your "cupcake sandwich"...you've earned it

Desserts in general should be consumed with etiquette and poise. Proper desserts should envelope each of the 5 (sometimes 6) senses. You should be visually attracted to your chosen dessert and you should be pleased by it's aroma. The events unfolding around you should be audible to you as you eat your appealing dessert (music, the whir of the mixer, conversations unfolding around you), you should feel the texture of your treat with both fingers and mouth, and it should taste like angel kisses...The process of eating dessert should be eventful...a moment in time where something as simple as a cupcake (torte, candy, ice cream...anything sugary sweet) has the ability to take you from the mundane of every day life...and turn it into sheer pleasure...Life is sweet